Not everyone’s journey to parenthood is an easy one.
Pics from yesterday’s jaunt to Nudgee Beach
I have just been listening to a podcast I enjoy, after a hiatus while they moved house, and this is a comment that stood out to me. I do sometimes wonder what our family would look like if it WAS an easy journey - or indeed if it continued to be an easy journey rather than an every day uphill battle through babyhood and toddlerhood and all of the messes and tantrums and exhaustion that comes with it.
Where someone got horrifically muddy but had a great time
But here we are, our family of 3 and very very occasionally a family of 4 when my bonus daughter comes to stay with us. Last time she stayed was for E’s birthday in April, and she is coming again to share Christmas with us. This is very much anxiety inducing for me - I don’t know what she enjoys at Christmas, what she is used to doing at Christmas, and I hope that what we offer will be good enough! I also worry about her relationship with E. When she last met E (second time ever), E was very much still a baby, while now she is a toddler with Very Real Opinions and also Very Loud Opinions and I hope that they continue to bond - tough for a previously only child to have to share her dad also - and tough for my only child too!
I didn’t intend this post to be about C’s trip but I guess that’s the way it is going. She is arriving on Christmas Eve and staying with us for 10 days - which Dave has off as his uni closes over the Christmas period. We have bought her a very nice Christmas present - unfortunately it is tech which made us twitch a little given how much tech she already has, but really we don’t get the chance to be involved very much with her life so it would be difficult for us - and for her - to change anything in just 10 days! What is harder, for me, is that her “very nice” tech package is also very small size wise - while Emily’s presents are very bulky. Will she try to compare? Will she be jealous? How do we make both children equal, especially when C will be going home to a second lot of Christmas presents from her other family, which E will not have? Can we make them equal? Is it wrong? So much cause for my brain to go into hyperdrive anxiety mode! Part of me wonders whether we should give E part of her Christmas gifts on Christmas Eve before C arrives! 😂. It’s not like E will know any better as she is still very small.
And that, folks, is where my brain is at.
Not really the statement I started this post with, but maybe I will expand on that some other time!
