Monday, September 1, 2014

The wedding etc

I'm reading an article on The Knot called "10 things no one tells you about getting engaged", and they actually could apply.  I could also apply them to "10 things no one tells you about your wedding" or stick "honeymoon" in there, if you like.

1.  That big pimple on your chin.  Whether it's the day that he proposed, or on your wedding day... in all the pictures, what's your biggest nightmare?  The airbrush make up for the wedding was the best idea ever - waterproof, basically 3D photoshopping my face so that it didn't really look like me at all.  I'm sorry folks, but that wasn't me.  Ha!  Although, realistically, pimples don't matter because with digital photos, they can all be edited out for a perfect complexion.

2.  Not being able to stop staring at your hand.  Or actually touching your finger with your thumb every few seconds just to check that the rings are really there.  I got used to doing this once engaged, and as the wedding band is a bit tighter, it feels more secure, but I still have the need to check.  And of course to look at it, like are you seriously married, girl?  Or was it the other girl pretending to be you under the airbrush make up?  That slight moment of anxiety as Kurt repeats "with this ring I thee wed" and I wonder whether he will be able to force it over the knuckle... (it was cold - so it was easy)

3.  Telling your proposal story a million times.  We've moved on from this.  Now it's telling the wedding story a million times.  (Perhaps we will also have to tell the honeymoon story that much.)  The wedding story... well I could tell you a bit of it here.  It rained, folks, and by rained, I mean poured.  I mean torrential rain that did not stop for hours and hours and hours.  We could have gotten married in Ireland and had better weather.  My dreams of a beach wedding were slipping further and further away as I paced up and down the "executive king suite" (not actually as fancy as it sounds) and looked out the window.  Oh and not only was it raining, but windy as well.  Really windy.

Which all sounds pretty terrible, doesn't it?  Except I've left out the part about my Knight in Shining Armour.  Kurt, who knew how much I wanted a beach wedding, was determined to make it work.  A 3m by 3m gazebo was procured from his aunt, emergency waterproof ponchos were bought, umbrella reminders were sent to guests, the PA system was wrapped in polythene, and the chiffon draped registry table was changed to cast iron.  I think he spent the entire morning re-planning the ceremony to make my dreams of a beach wedding come true - and it did.

4.  People will ask you about a wedding date and location before you even get a chance to think about it.  This is very real, folks!  Believe it or not, people will ask you about the wedding date up until the day before the wedding.  Friday 22 August.  In black and white, on the wedding invitation, but apparently that's not clear enough!  If it's not from losing the wedding invitation, it's from assuming that all weddings are on Saturdays! 

5.  There might be a few sours... I don't think this one happened.  Nope, not at all, we can scratch out number 5.  I think everyone we know wholeheartedly supported our union, and that made our day even better.  Love in bucket loads back to family & friends!

6.  ...but your best friends will be there for you... and they were.  Whether actually in person at the wedding, or sending messages from overseas, they were there for us.  So many messages of encouragement and congratulations, my heart overflows.

7.  Recently married friends becoming wedding planning experts...  and give (sometimes unsolicited) advice.  I get this one now.  I've just done it.  I've just got married, and if anyone tells me they're going to get married I'm tempted to scream don't!  Don't do it!  Run!  The stress is almost insurmountable!"  and then I remember the good parts, and I remember how amazing my husband is, and how beautiful the day turned out to be, and I don't regret a moment.  That last couple of crazy weeks leading up to the wedding when I was almost ready to throw in the towel - all worth it.  Those months of organising - all worth it.  All of that money spent - and some of it wasted? - nope, all worth it !  I got married on 22 August 2014 and it was the best day of my life.  So I declare do!  Don't be scared by how crazy it is, don't be scared by how you feel like you can't go on any more - it's beautiful, and worth it, and just DO.

8.  you'll watch wedding movies and TV shows differently.  I hate weddings in general, and I've never paid much attention - definitely very little attention when it comes to decorations, and how to run things, etc. but once we were engaged, and it was happening - every little detail was focused on.  Someone I know on facebook just got married?  Quick!  Look at their pictures and see what their tables looked like!  And even after all that, our tables ended up like none of them, and they were perfect.  They were just what I wanted, and they were beautiful.

9.  You'll have a hard time not jumping into wedding planning right away and will find it difficult to "just enjoy being engaged".  Ha!  Well, we didn't "just enjoy" being engaged - although we did enjoy it.  We started wedding planning right away and despite the moments of freaking out that there "wasn't enough time", there was, and it happened, and it was perfect.

10.  Your relationship will feel different.  Well yes, I think that's obvious.  It has to feel different.  You're making the commitment, you've decided to spend the rest of your lives together, and that's scary, and it's different.  And I fell apart just a little bit the night before the wedding because, how?  How can you ever be truly sure?  How could I ever stand in front of 50 people, me, alone?  Except, it wasn't me alone, it was me and Kurt.  And standing at the front of my family and my friends, holding Kurt's hands and gazing into his eyes, it wasn't scary any more.  And I've used the word "perfect" an awful lot, and I'm going to do it again, and I'm not even sorry, because it was perfect. 

And of course, I'm going to post photos, I just haven't yet, and this post is long enough already without adding in any photos!

And that's not even the whole wedding story.  That doesn't tell you anything about the morning in the room, stuffing my face with Krispy Kreme doughnuts and Lindt truffle balls.  It doesn't tell you anything about trying to get into the car to go the ceremony and finding that I didn't actually know if I could bend at the waist in my dress.  It doesn't tell you anything about walking down the aisle staring into my beloved's eyes, or how Paul pronounced us husband and wife.  It doesn't tell you how we scurried down the beach with the wind and rain tugging on us and took photos by the angry ocean, or how the umbrella turned inside out as we ran back.  It doesn't tell you how Kurt drove the car back to the resort while holding my hand so tightly.  It doesn't tell you how we danced. 

But it was the best day of my life.