Don't Worry

Don't worry, about a thing.  'Cause every little thing's gonna be all right...

It doesn't work for me.  Something completely and utterly outside my control, like waiting for the bid import results, drives me into a crazy mess of emotion.  They're now saying 15 May... but I am not holding my breath.

In other news, apparently I am confrontational and too assertive?  I have to say, this almost makes me relieved, as I feel like I'm constantly pretending, constantly facing the world through a confident facade while inside I want to curl up in a dark corner under a table and suck my thumb.  This is apparently feedback from my assessment day which I was unofficially told, and apparently someone was supposed to call me but they didn't.  I'm not sure how I came across this way in the sim brief, as I recollect nothing other than feeling sick with nerves and clammy hands.  In the interview, I get why they might think that as I found a couple of their questions patronising and answered them as such: tongue in cheek and more than a little defensive!  However, I still passed, so... hmm.  It will be interesting to see if I actually do get a phone call.

I'm sitting here in the crew room second guessing myself - because confrontational?  There's nothing I like less than confrontation.  Avoidance, more like, as I avoid confrontation at all costs - I even send my housemates text messages instead of talking to them if there's an issue, even if they're in the next room! 

As I like to be perfect - perfectionist much - I don't like anyone having a remotely negative opinion of me so I must battle that out in my own mind!  Once again, Things Outside of My Control.  

I also held another cheese night last night and it was more than awesome.  Cheese, wine, champagne, baked cheesecake, a fire pit and great friends.