31 days of writing

yesterday, one of the blogs I read wrote about 31 days of writing.  The idea being to spend 5 minutes a day for a month writing a blog post.

And I thought that was a good idea, and that I could do it, and resolved to start yesterday for the month of October - and now it's 2 Oct... and I am already a failure.

1 minute into writing my 2nd 5 minute blog, which is actually my first, because I am a terrible person, I have finished explaining the 31 days of writing idea (which incidentally I found on The Harris Life blog) and have to think of something else to blog about.

The thing is, it's much easier to read other people's blogs than write my own.  I marvel at others' honesty about writing about their lives, and personal stuff, and about how life is hard, really hard, and how they're still there and that there are good times in the hard times and that the good times are really good.  And then I get to writing my own blog and I think - do I want people to know about me?  To see me?  To see all the things about me?  Or shall I post another photo of the sky being pretty and hope that nobody asks?

Because there are only so many flying photos that this blog can handle.

Brisbane Airport

The wedding etc

I'm reading an article on The Knot called "10 things no one tells you about getting engaged", and they actually could apply.  I could also apply them to "10 things no one tells you about your wedding" or stick "honeymoon" in there, if you like.

1.  That big pimple on your chin.  Whether it's the day that he proposed, or on your wedding day... in all the pictures, what's your biggest nightmare?  The airbrush make up for the wedding was the best idea ever - waterproof, basically 3D photoshopping my face so that it didn't really look like me at all.  I'm sorry folks, but that wasn't me.  Ha!  Although, realistically, pimples don't matter because with digital photos, they can all be edited out for a perfect complexion.

2.  Not being able to stop staring at your hand.  Or actually touching your finger with your thumb every few seconds just to check that the rings are really there.  I got used to doing this once engaged, and as the wedding band is a bit tighter, it feels more secure, but I still have the need to check.  And of course to look at it, like are you seriously married, girl?  Or was it the other girl pretending to be you under the airbrush make up?  That slight moment of anxiety as Kurt repeats "with this ring I thee wed" and I wonder whether he will be able to force it over the knuckle... (it was cold - so it was easy)

3.  Telling your proposal story a million times.  We've moved on from this.  Now it's telling the wedding story a million times.  (Perhaps we will also have to tell the honeymoon story that much.)  The wedding story... well I could tell you a bit of it here.  It rained, folks, and by rained, I mean poured.  I mean torrential rain that did not stop for hours and hours and hours.  We could have gotten married in Ireland and had better weather.  My dreams of a beach wedding were slipping further and further away as I paced up and down the "executive king suite" (not actually as fancy as it sounds) and looked out the window.  Oh and not only was it raining, but windy as well.  Really windy.

Which all sounds pretty terrible, doesn't it?  Except I've left out the part about my Knight in Shining Armour.  Kurt, who knew how much I wanted a beach wedding, was determined to make it work.  A 3m by 3m gazebo was procured from his aunt, emergency waterproof ponchos were bought, umbrella reminders were sent to guests, the PA system was wrapped in polythene, and the chiffon draped registry table was changed to cast iron.  I think he spent the entire morning re-planning the ceremony to make my dreams of a beach wedding come true - and it did.

4.  People will ask you about a wedding date and location before you even get a chance to think about it.  This is very real, folks!  Believe it or not, people will ask you about the wedding date up until the day before the wedding.  Friday 22 August.  In black and white, on the wedding invitation, but apparently that's not clear enough!  If it's not from losing the wedding invitation, it's from assuming that all weddings are on Saturdays! 

5.  There might be a few sours... I don't think this one happened.  Nope, not at all, we can scratch out number 5.  I think everyone we know wholeheartedly supported our union, and that made our day even better.  Love in bucket loads back to family & friends!

6.  ...but your best friends will be there for you... and they were.  Whether actually in person at the wedding, or sending messages from overseas, they were there for us.  So many messages of encouragement and congratulations, my heart overflows.

7.  Recently married friends becoming wedding planning experts...  and give (sometimes unsolicited) advice.  I get this one now.  I've just done it.  I've just got married, and if anyone tells me they're going to get married I'm tempted to scream don't!  Don't do it!  Run!  The stress is almost insurmountable!"  and then I remember the good parts, and I remember how amazing my husband is, and how beautiful the day turned out to be, and I don't regret a moment.  That last couple of crazy weeks leading up to the wedding when I was almost ready to throw in the towel - all worth it.  Those months of organising - all worth it.  All of that money spent - and some of it wasted? - nope, all worth it !  I got married on 22 August 2014 and it was the best day of my life.  So I declare do!  Don't be scared by how crazy it is, don't be scared by how you feel like you can't go on any more - it's beautiful, and worth it, and just DO.

8.  you'll watch wedding movies and TV shows differently.  I hate weddings in general, and I've never paid much attention - definitely very little attention when it comes to decorations, and how to run things, etc. but once we were engaged, and it was happening - every little detail was focused on.  Someone I know on facebook just got married?  Quick!  Look at their pictures and see what their tables looked like!  And even after all that, our tables ended up like none of them, and they were perfect.  They were just what I wanted, and they were beautiful.

9.  You'll have a hard time not jumping into wedding planning right away and will find it difficult to "just enjoy being engaged".  Ha!  Well, we didn't "just enjoy" being engaged - although we did enjoy it.  We started wedding planning right away and despite the moments of freaking out that there "wasn't enough time", there was, and it happened, and it was perfect.

10.  Your relationship will feel different.  Well yes, I think that's obvious.  It has to feel different.  You're making the commitment, you've decided to spend the rest of your lives together, and that's scary, and it's different.  And I fell apart just a little bit the night before the wedding because, how?  How can you ever be truly sure?  How could I ever stand in front of 50 people, me, alone?  Except, it wasn't me alone, it was me and Kurt.  And standing at the front of my family and my friends, holding Kurt's hands and gazing into his eyes, it wasn't scary any more.  And I've used the word "perfect" an awful lot, and I'm going to do it again, and I'm not even sorry, because it was perfect. 

And of course, I'm going to post photos, I just haven't yet, and this post is long enough already without adding in any photos!

And that's not even the whole wedding story.  That doesn't tell you anything about the morning in the room, stuffing my face with Krispy Kreme doughnuts and Lindt truffle balls.  It doesn't tell you anything about trying to get into the car to go the ceremony and finding that I didn't actually know if I could bend at the waist in my dress.  It doesn't tell you anything about walking down the aisle staring into my beloved's eyes, or how Paul pronounced us husband and wife.  It doesn't tell you how we scurried down the beach with the wind and rain tugging on us and took photos by the angry ocean, or how the umbrella turned inside out as we ran back.  It doesn't tell you how Kurt drove the car back to the resort while holding my hand so tightly.  It doesn't tell you how we danced. 

But it was the best day of my life.

My second dress fitting is today.  E, my "groomsmaid", is driving down to join me, and we are heading in to the city to see how the alterations went.  If all goes well, I should come home with my wedding dress.  How exciting... although it will be interesting trying to work out what to do with it on the train ! 

My parents arrive in six days... assuming that they make the flights (they're on standby).  I am very excited... but I also feel unprepared.  The house isn't cleaned, my stuff isn't organised, and having three more days' of work during that six makes me feel like I'm running out of time. 

Everything is coming together now, though.  The suits will be altered to fit the guys perfectly, and Kurt's wedding ring arrived yesterday from being resized.  So now both with sufficient clothes (and most of the accessories) to wear on the day, at least we'll be able to turn up!

On a different subject, I don't know how my sister manages to get her tomato plants to grow upright.  Mine do anything they can to flop onto the ground, whether tied up to stakes or not...  they are however fruiting gloriously, so that is good.

I had an awesome day, today.

Today was the hair and make up trial, and Kurt's mother drove me up the coast to it as my neck was sore yesterday.  The two women doing the trial were great, and listened to all of my requests and did the hair and make up just how I wanted it, and I am so excited to wear it again on the 22nd !

Then we went to Caloundra and visited the beach where we are having the ceremony, and to the resort as well, stopping in between for a well earned lunch of fish and chips.

It was so much fun getting the hair and make up done, especially when it came out so well, and it was actually a very enjoyable day out with my future mother-in-law as well !

Being up the coast by the beach made me feel like I need another beach day, so I'm hoping for a good few of those before the wedding!  It was nice just standing by the beach and soaking in the sun, and watching the waves crash against the rocks.

I love you

I almost said it first, and we weren't even dating.  Or at least, I had convinced myself that we were just friends to the extent that I really didn't know that I felt any different.  And then my friend dropped me off at the airport to catch a flight to Singapore, and I almost said it, tripping over my words and changing what was almost "I love you" into "I'll see you when I get back".

Finally, he lost patience with the charade, and demanded that we either start dating, or he couldn't continue to hang out with me all of the time, and desperate not to lose him, I agreed.  That was 3 August 2013, which I know, because it was the last time we went to play squash.  And the day we met, 13 February 2013, is replaced by 3 August 2013, which is replaced by 18 March 2014 when we got engaged.  Which in turn will fade into the distance when we get married on 22 August 2014.

But I can't forget a single one.

I can't forget the day I met him, when I was house-hunting.  He was at the bottom of the stairs, outside the block, hands full of grey plastic grocery bags.  And as we were introduced, we argued about rival airlines, I, how mine was better, and he, how another was faster, and so on, and so forth.  And I thought he was cool and that I would like to meet him again.

I can't forget the day I started to mouth the words "I love you" but was too confused to let it out.

I can't forget the last time we went to play squash.  How we sat outside the squash court after the game and argued about our future.  What if I had turned him down?  Would I ever have seen him again?

And I especially can't forget the day that he held me in his arms in the dusk, with the Wicklow mountains silhouetted in the background.  The moment that he asked me to marry him.

And soon, in 4 short weeks, I will walk down the aisle and look into his eyes and say "I do" and from the bottom of my heart say "I love you".

Which of course brings me to the poem that has been in my head for weeks now:

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of being and ideal grace.
I love thee to the level of every day’s
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for right.
I love thee purely, as they turn from praise.
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood’s faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints. I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life; and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.

We're a month out, today.  And I am in Rocky looking at the view out of the window - not too bad for Rocky, despite the ugly roofs - but it is only 11 degrees.

Did I mention we're a month out?

This time next month I'll be getting ready.  Painting my face and struggling with my dress and maybe freaking out just a teency weency bit.  But I think I'm excited.  I think in between the there'ssomuchtodoaaaahhhh moments and the whycantitallbeoversothatwecanrelax and I'msodonetalkingaboutweddings there is an element of excitement.  I mean I'm marrying my best friend, and I can't imagine life without him.

One month today, I'll be preparing to declare my love for the rest of my life and... I'm excited.  

It's almost August.  It's almost happening, I'm almost not a B... any more and that is scary because the idea of not being who I was (in name, anyway) is so foreign.  Kate C... Weird!!!  Of course I am honoured to take Kurt's name but... what about being a B... I think I always will be in my heart ! 

The final countdown has begun, although I have tried so hard not to (despite Kurt's aunt prodding me every week on Facebook!) but ... 1 month... oh and 3 weeks until my parents arrive, I am so excited to show them everything, to share Australia with them, maybe they'll like it more than Ireland?

I used to look forward to blog, all the time.  I used to actively look for things to blog about - look at things and think "ooh, I'll take a photo of that, because I could use it on my blog."  Those times are over, folks.  I don't know if they're over forever, but right now I look around me blearily and think "blog? what blog?"  I am reminded that I am a slack blogger, and that I haven't blogged for "ages", and, well, I think "maybe I should", and then I don't... and the muse is nowhere to be found.

I have started one or two blog posts, a little along the lines of "so today I have nothing to report" and "the countdown is at six weeks to the big day" and "I made pizza again" all of which you are probably not very interested in. 

This blog is obviously along the lines of "I haven't blogged in forever, bear with me, people!" and "I still have nothing to report."

Oh yeah, I've decided to cook today, just in case you're interested, having grabbed a copy of "Women's Day" off the aircraft and got some (misplaced?) enthusiasm for one of the recipes within.  I've also decided I need to:

a) go into the city to pick up my wedding ring
b) find a bridal store to buy some shoes to wear at the wedding
c) go shopping in general
d) clean the house
e) book accommodation for the wedding, except I didn't wake up early enough to talk to Mum
f)  make a list of the things I need to do because I've forgotten half of them already
g) have breakfast
h) remember the other things I have forgotten

So I'm blogging.

I did remember to put brandy on the fruitcake again.  The fruitcake is now about six weeks old.  I don't know what it's supposed to look like.  It looks like a fruitcake wrapped in baking paper wrapped in tin foil.  I put brandy on the outside every 3 weeks and I wonder whether it soaks in far enough so that when the cake is cut down to size (6" from 8") will it have any brandy on it at all?  And then I wonder whether I made it right and whether it's just going to be awful and should I Give Up Already?

I want to go cycling, and it's so stupidly cold.  (for want of a "polite" adjective).  Apparently it's the coldest winter since cold winters began, at least in the last 20 years or so, although some sites say "it's the coldest in 103 years!" and others say "it's the coldest morning since last winter!" which doesn't sound quite so impressive.  And I can't cycle when it's this stupidly cold, and then I get to midday when it's not quite so stupidly cold, and then I don't feel like cycling any more.  Just saying.

Oh yes

i) weed the garden
j) go grocery shopping

I told you there were more things that I had forgotten.

I'm on reserve today, and they didn't call me yet.  Another triumph for mankind. 

Okay, I think I'm done now, You're Welcome.

TTFN!!!