Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Fires & Marshmallows

Tradition states that when having a campfire, one must roast marshmallows.  Eatability wise, I prefer marshmallows straight out of the packet or perhaps in a cup of hot chocolate (although usually they get in the way and refuse to melt), but I'm not really a huge fan of having them melted over a fire.

The Fire

There are a few methods of eating campfire marshmallows.  Obviously, the easiest method (as previously discussed) is to eat them straight out of the bag, although this seems generally disapproved of.  The second easiest method is to feed them to Fish.  Fish is a Rottweiler officially named Zoë, but a) Zoë is a bit of a pansy name and b) she introduced herself to me with a lot of strongly fish-flavoured panting and slurping, so ever since then I have addressed her as Fish.  She doesn't seem to mind this, and continues to pant with fish-flavoured intensity in my general direction.  She also seems to like marshmallows, and will sit, lie down and shake paw with you and be generally very patient until you give her one.  This method is also generally disapproved of, as the other campfire attendees seem to think it is a waste.


Then of course, with the above two methods denied me, I must of course stick the marshmallows on a hugely insanitory stick and burn them to a cinder.  Technically one should gently rotate the stick close to the flames until the marshmallow takes on a slightly more rounded and golden appearance, but this takes more time.  It is a lot quicker to simply thrust the marshmallow-bearing stick into the embers and watch it burn.  Then of course, I must decide what to do with said marshmallow.  Fish likes them like that, but I have to stop her eating them before they cool down or she looks faintly surprised when she engulfs them.  The problem with Fish, once you start feeding her blackened marshmallows, is that she thinks any ember falling from the fire is also edible... and she is not a quick learner.
I then try to cook marshmallows for other people to eat, but the majority do not approve of my cooking method.  I'm not sure why, it seems perfectly practical to me.  My marshmallow-cooking stick is getting shorter, and it is now that I remember the Sparklers.  We went shopping, you see, and K and myself are both fairly hyper individuals when we are feeling hyper, and M took pity on us and let us choose what we wanted to buy.  Of course, Sparklers and Party Poppers were at the top of the list, followed closely by black Sambuca, pink hair dye, sherbet straws and popcorn, in no particular order.  

There's only so much you can do, normally, with a Sparkler.  Even when lit indoors.

Indoor Sparkler

When marshmallows are strung at about half inch intervals along a sparkler, creating the Great Marshmallow Sparkler, they make quite an interesting experiment.  A few things to note, however.

The Great Marshmallow Experiment

There are a few things to note, while carrying out this experiment, however.
1.  If you hold the stick away from the fire, Fish will attack the falling marshmallows, burning her tongue.
2.  If you hold the stick over the fire, your hand will get too hot and you may drop the sparkler into the fire.  This is okay, but it's a bit of a waste of a sparkler.
3.  If you hold the molten marshmallow mess (like my alliteration?) too close to your sweatpants, they may catch fire.  This may or may not have happened, I can't rightly say.

4.  If you put the marshmallows too close together they simply burn rather than sparkle/glow, and then the sparkler will ignite after you have forgotten that it exists... much to your surprise.


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