Part 1 - the flight

Currently, I am sitting on board an airplane, somewhere over the Pacific Ocean, on my way to Auckland.  I presume that the wet stuff between Australia and New Zealand is the Pacific Ocean, but I could well be wrong - geography was never my forté.   This is the first time that I have ever travelled business class.  I find myself not knowing what to do first, feeling like a fish out of water and surrepticiously observing others' actions to determine the correct way to go about things.  Does one use the footstool during takeoff and landing?  Can one adjust the seat at this time?  How does the electronic tray table work?  Wine before lunch - yes, please, red.  Pinot noir or merlot?  Well, frankly I have no idea what the difference is, as long as it's red and not too dry...  I figure if I make my decision straight away and sound confident about it, theymay get the impression that I know what I'm talking about.  Merlot, please! I think it is relatively impossible to remain sober on a business class flight, especially a 3h one.  What if I had to hire a car or something at the other end?  Would I have to decline the glass of champagne on boarding?  Say no to the glass of merlot before lunch?  What if they offer something else with lunch - or afterwards?  Some port or Baileys to polish it all off, perhaps? The waiter - or rather, flight attendant, who insists on addressing me as Ms ----, while consulting a list in his hand, extends the table in front of me and covers it with a white tablecloth.  The cloth is slightly larger than the table, pergaps 1.5ft square, and not quite large enough to droop down at the sides, which gives it a rather untidy look.  My glass of merlot is pooling scarlet on its serviette, and the attendant apologises profusely for the clumsiness.   The starter has now arrived, a small platter of smoked salmon, dribbled elegantly with tartare sauce, sprinkled with fresh cress( and accompanied by a pad of butter and some freshly (yesterday?) ground pepper.  I presume that the bread is yet to come, and on cue it arrives, a little wooden basket offering a selection of garlic, brown, rye and sourdough.  More wine?  A top up of water?  Ah yes, madam, sparkling Perrier is no problem, here you are. I pick up the silverware - two forks and two knives, startlingly cold, and cut open my bread roll, which is soft, fresh and warm.  I have decided to make an exception to my hitherto unbroken rule - never eat airline food that is not in a sealed wrapper.  The smoked salmon does not have much flavour, and could do with some lemon juice, but as far as lemon juice is concerned, it's not bad. What would you like for your main course, madam?  Steak, please.  Now I shall sit back, relax, and hope that the fillet eye is not overdone - how dare they not ask how I prefer it cooked?  I paid good money for this flight!  Well - someone did. GR and ML, both sitting in front pf me, are watching a movie while eating their meal.  Personally, I think the audio on airplanes is terrible, and continue to refuse it even in business class. It's not a bad main course, by all accounts.  A typically sized airplane meal, although in a rectangular china dish, as opposed to the tinfoil or plastic of cattle class.  Sweet potato au gratin on one side - which ML is kindly polishing off for me, as I am opposed to sweet potato, and fresh - not even overcooked - french beans on the other side.  The fillet eye is medium rare, fairly tender and not bad going, considering it is being offered however many miles up in the sky.  I now await my dessert, and considering I was not in the least bit hungry to begin with (I ate a considerable amount of complimentary breakfast and lunch in the business lounge before boarding) I think I am doing well. I cannot imagine going back to cattle class, perhaps from now I will pay an extra few grand to enjoy this sort of comfort - or not.  I think that despite how good this is right now, it's pretty obvious I could spend an awful lot less and get a far better experience by just going out to a restaurant!  However, considering how much I truly hate travelling, this really isn't bad at all.  In fact, I havn't even arrived in Auckland and I am already looking forward to the return flight - and doing it all over again in a couple of months!  Actually, I'd even say that I am looking forward to travelling back to Europe - the seat/bed I am assigned to is pretty much the same size as the room I had in Rivervalley - which isn't saying much! Icecream or cheese, madam?  Well icecream of course, you nincompoop,  who do you think I am???  The icecream is vanilla and berry flavoured - as I am feeling fairly full, I eat the berry scoop and leave the vanilla - sorry, Dad!   I presume that shortly they'll be around once again to ask if I would like another drink - well I would, but... maaaybe on the way back!?  Now I will recline my seat once again, rest my head on the soft pillow, and doze for an hour or so until we descend into Auckland.  Apparently we get 20 minutes of free wifi a day in the hotel, so I should be able to post this, otherwise you will only see it once I return home... which will rather spoil the fun - don't you think?? TTFN!